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Question: I have chronic pain and can't figure it out. am i doomed to a life of suffering vs. pain-killer addiction?
(Posted by: Lala1008 on 2009-09-02 19:23:46)
I work 40- 50 hours a week and also go to school full time. My schooling is online, so it's easier to juggle my home life and still taking care of my mommy and wife duties. My husband works about 50- 60 hours a week and does hard labor, so he's exhausted by the time he comes home. So cooking, cleaning, shopping, and caring for our toddler is pretty much up to me. I have recently developed this pain in my shoulder, knees, and back. My right arm falls asleep daily and when it's not numb, it's aching so badly I can't hardly move it. The pain shoots down my arm and my shoulder pops every millimeter I move it. Sometimes spasms when it gets really bad, but this usually only lasts a couple of days and then goes away. It is so puzzling. I'm a property manager by day, and have apartments and retail spaces I manage, so I'm on my feet and moving around a lot... but also working on the computer a lot. Either way, I don't think my job is physically grueling so I just don't understand this pain. My knees pop and ache so badly. My left one swells up about 1/ 2 it's regular size sometimes. I literally cannot put weight on my left knee when standing up from a squat. It's gotten so badly I struggle tying my son's shoes in the morning. I feel like a failure as a mother and wife. I struggle to put dishes away in the bottom cupboards. I just hurt so badly. My lower back pain is to the point that I toss and turn through the night because it shoots up and down my spine and outwards toward my sides. My back gives out sometimes when bending over to pick something up (usually a toy my son left on the floor... so nothing crazy heavy). It spasms sometimes but for the most part just aches constantly. I'm not overweight, I have a slim physique although I don't work out. I'm 5'9 " at 135 lbs. I am not very strong, but then again, I can carry my 48 lb. toddler through the grocery store if I need to. I have been to COUNTLESS specialists, massage therapy, general practicioners, and I even tried wearing flat shoes and carring a smaller purse... but nothing helps. The sad thing is, I'm 22 years old and have never had any health problems nor a family with a history of illness. Is this normal? I mean, do people commonly have so many discomforts that it immobilizes their activities. The only thing that has helped are pain medications, specifically vicodin and percocet... but I don't like the feeling of the narcotics. Percocet made me feel stoned and I can't focus and the vicodin lightly dulled the pain and made me feel sick to my stomach. My doc prescribed 30 of the percocet about 4 months ago, and when that ran out he gave me 30 vicodin. My vicodin ran out about 2 weeks ago and I'm acutely aware of every square inch of my body that's in pain. The only thing that seems to work is the pain medication but I don't want to feel like a junkie and keep going back for a "bandage " to my pain problem. I haven't returned to the doctor, but think I probably should. My health insurance sucks and co- pays are through the roof. I just hate going back and everytime they say... "rest, stay off your feet, just relax " but I live in the real world with real responsibilites that I can't just lay around on my couch all day. That's not going to happen. Any advice or feedback would be so much appreciated. |
