|
Posted by: DopelessHopefiend on 2009-03-13, 21:27:13
First off, I want to say I'm really sorry for the loss of your friend. I felt my stomach drop when I read this question, you'll understand why in a minute. I overdosed and died a few months ago. No pulse, not breathing, had to use shock paddles and adrenalin and all that to get me back. Nobody will be straight with me about how long I was gone, all I know is everything stopped. I knew when I shot the dose that something was really, really wrong- my legs gave out, and my last thought was, "Oh f^ck... " because I knew, in that last moment, exactly what had happened, what I'd done. And the last thing I felt was this unreal, overwhelming feeling of regret and shame, knowing it was all for nothing, knowing I was leaving it all behind for nothing, for a f^cking needle full of numbness, that my family had just lost my father 9 months earlier, and I was following right behind him. So yes, if she died anything like I did, if she was an IV user (injecting the drug) she probably knew in that last moment that it was over and probably knew she had overdosed. The only consolation I can offer is that she felt no pain, that it was probably that high she'd been chasing for however long she'd been using, that ultimate, best-ever feeling all us junkies chase after. As for how it killed her even though she was a regular user- the thing with street heroin is that you never know what's in each dose, each pack, each bag. If she'd gone to a different dealer because her regular connection was out of dope, that could have been it. Heroin isn't a "clean " drug like aspirin or Tylenol- it's made by novice chemists in back alley labs. Some is unbelievably strong, like the stuff I overdosed on, and some is so weak, it'd take massive amounts to feel any high whatsoever, or to get rid of the dopesickness. It's all pure when it comes out of the lab, but each dealer "cuts " it differently, making some really strong, and some really weak. And last off, as for how long it would have taken- no more than a minute, probably more like 10-20 seconds. Honestly, if I could choose how I die, that'd be it, another heroin overdose, because the end is so quick and painless, and you get that last rush that tops everything you've ever felt in your entire life. Again, I'm sorry for your loss. It usually is the regular users that die, like me, because we tend to think we've got it figured out, or sometimes we're just reckless and don't care if we live or die, because the pain of living is so great that any pain death may bring would be a sweet relief. I'll be praying for her, and praying nobody else dies off the dope she was using. If you have more questions, feel free to email me. Any way I can be useful to others is a gift. |
