Heroin Overdose: Methadone & Heroin Facts

Question: How much do i tell my 5 and 7 year old daughters about their uncle (age 27) who died from a heroin overdose?

(Posted by: Lee on 2008-09-19 18:57:18)

My brother passed away on New Years Eve. My brother was in and out of their lives so the fact that they have not seen him in 8 months is not a big difference than when he was alive. I keep preparing myself to tell them and then I stop myself because I don't know what to say was the reason he died. They saw a video of him today and asked where he is. If anyone has had this type of situation and would like to share what they did, I would be very grateful.

Posted by: TheBurningBoy on 2008-09-19, 19:06:25

Say that he has gone to heaven where he will be happy and don't tell them about the heroin until they're older (and probably teenagers). This may be a big thing to stop them from getting into those bad habits, but don't tell them the details yet.

Posted by: cheergirl5431 on 2008-09-19, 19:07:20

I would just tell them. It is a very horrible situation to be in and im really sorry it happened to you but sooner or later they will find out and you dont want it to look like your hiding anything from them. i would just tell them that he has passed on to a better life and if they ask just say that he didn't make some right choices and they won't ask..they are too little to understand what any of that is. Pray. God will help you if you ask him to and you really mean it. I will be praying for you!

Posted by: mynamehere on 2008-09-19, 19:08:39

You could always tell them something along the lines of that "Uncle So-So was sick. He had a problem that he just couldn't control. " Tell them that he's in Heaven now(if you believe in that). Find something you can relate the illness too. Cause addiction is an illness. Even if you had a pet die, or a grandparent when the kids were around. Explain that there Uncle is with them in Heaven now, and he's not sick anymore. I hope that helps. I'm not too good at explaining stuff to kids. I'm sorry for your loss.

Posted by: Dreamly on 2008-09-19, 19:10:34

I haven't had this problem but have had to explain death to my children when my mom passed away they was the same age and 9, you could sit them down and ask them if they know about drugs and chances are they have and tell them how bad they are and that your brother found that out the hard way but thats a little hard for kids to understand so I'd just explain everyone that is born into this world must die sometime and we just dont know when and that it was just his time to go and ask them if they want to help make a collage of pictures of him to keep in their room thats what I did or draw him a picture to say goodbye

Posted by: Bumbelscotch on 2008-09-19, 19:11:28

My friend had a similar problem in telling her 6 year old son that his dad was a heroin user and that was why his father wasn't in contact with him what she di was basically told him that his dad silly and did silly things but didn't realise how dangerous these things were etc. i think somthing along those line is best for a child to understand and then as they get older you can go into things more with them but i would think just now going into details will just confuse them hope this helps nd sorry for your loss x

Posted by: brandigm on 2008-09-19, 19:22:30

I always try to tell as much of the truth as possible. i have a cousin who is extremely close, however b/ c of drug addiction my kids had never meant him - finally they did and i had to explain to them that he had a sick brain and made bad choices. I explained the difference btw good drugs/ bad drugs. My children were 3 and 6 at the time and this explanation seemd to have done very well. as they get older they ask a few other questions every so often and i can now tell them a bit more of my cousins story as age appropriate.

Posted by: J.a.d.e on 2008-09-19, 19:23:36

Dont tell your little girls he died from a heroin overdose yet.. wait till they are a little older. Even then they might still not get it.. Telling them though in a couple years might help them understand drugs are bad and they'll probally never wanna use heroin because of what happened to their uncle.. tell them when it feels right follow your instict.

Posted by: camm on 2008-09-19, 19:31:26

Tell 'em. That'll sure as hell teach an early lesson, much better than what they'll learn in school.

Posted by: kevinmac9999 on 2008-09-19, 19:45:15

You don't need to tell them all at once...it may take several years for them to be fully prepared to hear the whole story. you may want to start off by telling them their uncle has gone away and might not come back. even though he loves them very very much, the place he has gone to cannot allow him to come back. basically, don't lie to them, just ease them into it. Becuase you'll give them more details down the road. Children that young are not wired to understand death, much less a heroine overdose. But giving them a foundation that you can build off of in the next few years allows you to be honest, and not scare them at the same time.

Posted by: lilcloud on 2008-09-19, 20:14:47

There is no need to tell them the reason he died yet. Just that he got very ill. That is not a lie, people on drugs get very ill before they die. Remind them of how much he loved them and that he will always be in their heart. There will be a time later when you may have to tell exact cause, but for now, he got very ill should be enough.