Heroin Addiction: Methadone & Heroin Facts

Question: How do i move on from a heroin addiction?

(Posted by: Sara T on 2010-01-31 09:41:36)

I am 53 days clean today after a 2 year heroin addiction. I have tried to get clean so many times in the past and have never made it past a week or so. I am now in an intensive outpatient 5 days a week, and attend NA regularly. I have also suffered from depression for the past 10 years. Now that I am off heroin, I can't explain the depressed, down, sad, lonely, and confused feelings I have. No matter what I do right now, I cannot get using off my mind. It haunts my dreams, I have extremely vivid using dreams, to the point where I wake up and feel like I'm in physical withdrawal again. I am wondering how long I have to feel so ashamed and sad, and wondering how long I have to live with this addiction haunting me and remaining so strongly in the forefront of my mind. I try and stay distracted- I read, I play with my kids, I play video games, anything at all to distract myself - but the second I stop whatever I'm doing I feel the addiction pulling and dragging me down so far that I can't help but wonder if I'll ever feel okay again. I never feel okay. I am lonely as my clean friends from before my addiction swore me off long ago, and my using friends I don't talk to or associate with anymore. I don't know how to get past this and I am asking for anyone's experience or advice. Serious answers only please.

Posted by: cornflake#1 on 2010-01-31, 10:49:37

Drugs and alcohol are both so difficult to get off of. They make you feel good - for such a short time - but they have an unreal ability to consume you. You've come a distance of 53 days - that mastery of your own impulses is something worthy of congratulations. Unfortunately you will never be without that compulsion, and it's a horrible thing because it does horrible things to you and those around you. And as much as I would wish I could help you - only you have that power. There will be good days and bad days - the expectation is that the good will eventually outweigh the bad. BUT, there will be no normal days. You have tasted forbidden fruit - and have to learn to deal with that. You need something to keep you occupied, even when the things you have arranged for yourself have stopped being of interest. You talk about something to distract yourself - you need something more long-term. Fortunately, you still have your kids - that is going to be your greatest anchor and strength. Do you have a trusted friend you could contact when times are desperate and needy? It is so important that you don't slip - it's so easy to do, and I feel that that will have the worst effect on you. Perhaps you can find someone local or even at the end of a phone. Get involved with some groups. Perhaps college courses, acting classes, writing, raising funds for worthy causes ... anything that will eat up whole blocks of your day - something that will keep you focused on moving forward, and stop you from being drawn back. I'm not a great believer in churches or the like, but there is an old gospel spiritual "One day at a time ". All you can hope to do is keep putting whole days between you now and the bad times.

Posted by: cousins_primo on 2010-01-31, 10:20:36

There is no such thing as can't. The devil says you can't, but the Word says you can. Philipians 4: 13 in you Bible. If you can't do something, The Word would have told you that you couldn't do it. Depression is just another name of a demon. It has no power over you unless you let it. Why are you letting the devil get the best of you by believing the thoughts he's putting into your head. Your better than that. The devil is a liar and is still a liar. Everything he says is a lie. See, he's not after your body or your spirit(the life of the body), he is after your soul ( your mind, will and emotion). He's trying to get a foothold in there so he can control your thoughts and imagination. As far as the addiction, think about how much it costs to do that. Talk about your friends. Sounds like the only thing they were doing was pulling you down and keeping you from being sucessful or as long as you have money they were your friends. And when you had no money or needed help you couldn't find them. Well it was time to break that broken record that when it went around it seemed to skip back into that same old groove and the problems would start all over again. Now get rid of all those evil thoughts and imaginations andbring them into the obedience of Christ and cast them out. If their not God's thoughts, then they are not your either.